Sowing & Reaping

By Tori Benham

I can’t tell you how many times I heard my dad quote this, especially during my teenage years…

“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”

Jason can imitate him saying it perfectly. I get tongue-tied every time I try. It’s a lot of “sow-a/ reap-a’s,” but the simple truth is so profound. We reap what we sow and it begins with our thoughts. Our relationships are where we see this in action.

A few weeks ago Jason and I were struggling with a couple of our kids. So on a walk around the block, I vented to him about one and he did the same to me about another. The longer we walked, the more we realized how negative our thoughts toward them had become.

Jason prayed. A wave of conviction rolled in. Our thoughts towards our own kids were sowing seeds of contempt in our hearts toward them. It was no wonder we were reaping tension in our home.

We remembered the verse, “Whatever is true, whatever is honest, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and of good report, think on these things”–Philippians 4:8.

So as we rounded the corner from one street to another, our thoughts turned directions too. We finished the walk speaking about the good we saw in them–things that were true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report. We spoke aloud who they were in Christ and repented of our contemptuous thoughts.

Finally, our thoughts for them began to align with truth.

When we got home we walked through the door of our home much different then we had walked out. There was a shift in the atmosphere almost instantly. Snarky comments and negative energy was replaced with affection and words that breathed life.

The negative thoughts we allow to permeate in our minds are alive and growing and will eventually surface and bloom. The result is only fractured relationships.

Let’s choose to sow healthy thoughts, especially about those we do everyday life with. The destiny of those relationships count on it!


Tori Benham

My goal is to help you in your battle—for your marriage and your kids. I’ve discovered that my best battle buddy is my husband, Jason, when we choose to fight alongside one another and not against each other. Fighting together draws us together. This is exactly why Satan wants to divide us. But we cannot let that happen, and neither can you. I promise I will write from my heart whatever God gives me, and hopefully this sharing will help both of us. The Lord knows I need it as much as anyone!

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