Overcoming Fear

By Tori Benham

Life can get pretty tricky for us women can’t it? I have found that my reaction to whatever life brings my way can be rooted in one of two emotions: Fear or Love. Seeing that we were designed to thrive on love, it should be no surprise that the enemy uses fear to keep us from operating in the love we were created for. Maybe it’s the fear of not measuring up, the fear of failure, the fear of regret, the fear of missing out –
whatever the fear, we have the choice of whether we will let it lead us. That should be good news but if it’s not, something needs to change.

That is exactly where I found myself, and change couldn’t come fast enough.

Exhausted from the side effects, I needed a game plan to overcome the fears that had become habits in my day-to-day life. God’s promises are true, so when He says, “seek and you shall find,” He meant every word. There it was right before my eye, a battle plan to overcome fear!

Revelation 12:11 – “They overcame them by the blood of the lamb, the word of their testimony, they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”

First, “The blood of the lamb” – Christ’s death, burial and resurrection. Ultimately, “the blood of the lamb” gives us authority to reign here on earth in an authoritative position as one with Christ (John 16:7). It’s difficult to grasp the magnitude of this gift. The power Christ imparted to us through the most sacrificial act of love possible gives us the strength to move mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20). We can do all things (Phil 4:13) because of “the blood of the lamb.” This is living life with a “I can do it” mentality. So when fear says “yes,” I say, “NO,” just because I can!!!

Next, “the word of their testimony.” This is when our faith intersects with God’s faithfulness. Faith is an antidote to fear. When you consume it, the poison of fear dissipates. (ok, this is Jason and I’m reading this right now – that last line was really good!) The first time I fully understood the power of this was about 12 years ago when I released a fear to the Lord and told him I trusted him with the results. He was faithful. I stood on that testimony when another fear was soon to follow. He was faithful. The next time another fear reared its ugly head I had two testimonies of when I chose to trust God as opposed to allowing fear to control how I handled the situation. He was faithful. The choice of whether I am going to be lead by my experiences with man’s shortcomings (mine included) or my experiences with God’s faithfulness is my choice. As I choose the latter, I live in the power of the love I was created for. A place that doesn’t have room for fear.

Finally, “not loving their life so much as to shrink from death” is being willing to die to self. When we love our lives too much, we operate out of fear when we don’t get what we want. Oswald Chambers says it like this, “Fretting rises from our determination to have our own way.” This is when we live in self-preservation mode and respond to fear in one of three ways: justifying our way, manipulating our way, or growing bitter when we don’t get our way. I call this the “me grid” – everything must filter through “me.” This is a miserable existence, yet so easy to fall into. Dying to self comes at a cost, but nothing is more costly than living for yourself.

Fear is persistent, but the more you stand up to it, the weaker it gets. So let’s walk in the authority and power of the cross, remember the times when our faith intersected with God’s faithfulness, and die to ourselves by not living life through a selfish grid. I can promise you one thing, becoming the wife and mom God made you to be is worth the fight!


Tori Benham

My goal is to help you in your battle—for your marriage and your kids. I’ve discovered that my best battle buddy is my husband, Jason, when we choose to fight alongside one another and not against each other. Fighting together draws us together. This is exactly why Satan wants to divide us. But we cannot let that happen, and neither can you. I promise I will write from my heart whatever God gives me, and hopefully this sharing will help both of us. The Lord knows I need it as much as anyone!

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