Living Through Your Kids

By Jason Benham

In Genesis 27 we see the story of Jacob deceiving his father Isaac and taking the blessing from his brother Esau. Even though Isaac knew God had chosen Jacob over Esau, he played favorites with his son Esau while his wife Rebekah gravitated toward Jacob.

When Rebekah overheard Isaac tell Esau he was going to bless him the first thing she needed to do was remind Isaac that God promised to bless Jacob and not Esau, regardless of the fact Esau was the firstborn. But what we see in their relationship is something that many relationships suffer today – two parents living through their kids.

Instead of coming together as a married couple and having a very real conversation about this whole “blessing” thing, both parents were doing what they wanted with their favorite kid. The same thing happens today when a dad tells his kids something and then says, “don’t tell mom we talked about this.” Or when a mom divulges information to her kids and tells them to keep it from dad.

The rule of thumb for parents is to talk to each other about “everything” and not to divulge information to their kids that they are not willing to share with each other. Kids don’t want to be used by parents, they want to be loved by them. One of the most loving things parents can do for kids is have a strong relationship with each other where there are no secrets.

For Rebekah, she was going to get what she wanted without having to bring it up to her husband. For Isaac, he was going to get what he wanted without having to ask permission from his wife. Both of them were using their kids to do it.

This is not good and is a sure-fire way of giving your kids issues that will haunt them the rest of their lives, as we see was the case in both Jacob and Esau. Let’s not be parents like this.

Jason Benham

My aim is simple: I want to get you hooked on God’s Word so that you become the godly man your wife and kids need you to be—the faithful warrior God called you to be. As men, we were made to fight, and our greatest weapon is the Word of God. Armed with His truth, we can win the battles desperately raging against us, our marriages, our families, as well as the culture in which we are called to change.

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