Come Apart

By Jason Benham

“When the apostles returned, they reported to Jesus what they had done. Then he took them with him and they withdrew by themselves to a town called Bethsaida…”(Luke 9:10)

After coming back from a wildly successful short-term missions trip Jesus encouraged His disciples to come apart and rest so that they could recharge their batteries. This was a habit He had formed and it was the secret to Him remaining fresh for service. Even though they may have been so stoked they wanted to keep going, they needed to deny themselves and rest.

I’ve always said that the wrong time to eat is when you’re starving. If you wait to eat until you “have” to eat then you will overeat. The right time to eat is before you’re starving, then you’ll eat just enough. In the same way, the wrong time to rest is when you’re exhausted. The right time is before you reach that point. This is where the disciples were and this is what Jesus was teaching them – “rest now before you get to the point of exhaustion.”

Jesus was essentially saying, “Come apart and rest before you come apart!”

But we can also apply this to our marriages. As a couple, when you get away from the routine, even if it’s just for a few hours, it refills your relational love tank unlike anything else can. Now, we’re not talking about filling each others’ love tanks – that’s a different matter for a different post. We’re talking about the relationship itself.

To keep a relationship healthy and happy you both need time to rest “together.” When our kids were young and money was tight we would just go walk around the park. Then we graduated into having a quick bite at Panera Bread. Now, we’re finally at a point where our kids can watch themselves and we can go anywhere we want for an extended period of time.

Having a weekly date night has been the best practice we’ve ever done. It has literally kept Tori from pulling her hair out from homeschooling frustration while keeping me from making a bad business decision. All because we chose to rest together.

Come apart. Even if you have to force yourselves to do it. You’ll be glad you did.


Jason Benham

My aim is simple: I want to get you hooked on God’s Word so that you become the godly man your wife and kids need you to be—the faithful warrior God called you to be. As men, we were made to fight, and our greatest weapon is the Word of God. Armed with His truth, we can win the battles desperately raging against us, our marriages, our families, as well as the culture in which we are called to change.

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