“Now as the ark of the LORD came into the City of David, Michal, Saul’s daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.” (2 Samuel 6:16)
Here we see King David’s wife Michal giving every married person a great example of what “not” to do to their spouse. She judged his motive. She chose not to trust his good intentions. She criticized him for his public zeal for the Lord and then assumed his motivation by saying that he did it to draw attention to himself. She said nothing about the fact he brought the ark into the city to be a blessing to the city, and she said nothing about all the food David had given out to the people just prior. This was an awesome move by a great king who cared more about God’s presence and blessing His people than his own desires. But Michal chose not to focus on the good — she nit-picked what she felt was bad and rode him for it.
Do you know one thing happy couples do? They give each other the benefit of the doubt. They are generous in their assumptions of each other’s intentions. When there is a gap between expectation and reality they fill that gap with the most generous explanation and choose to believe it. They choose to trust each other.
David’s wife should have not judged his motives. She should have focused on the good and not the bad (what she thought was bad). She shouldn’t have criticized and critiqued before she approached him out of a position of respect and gratitude. This would have broken down any potential walls and she would have experienced a great relationship with her husband. As it was, Michal died a childless woman in a relationship void of intimacy.
It doesn’t have to be this way. If you willingly choose to trust your spouse you’ll discover God’s faithfulness will intersect with your faith and your relationship will become the powerful bond it was meant to be.